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January 31 2018

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Wednesday’s update. Children’s feelings are real.

Reposted fromlordminx lordminx viawonko wonko

January 14 2018

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Reposted fromhagis hagis viagingerglue gingerglue

November 18 2017


"Do you think that you could have done something?"

Wilde Life - 440

by Pascalle Lepas

May 03 2017



Kids.  Teenagers.  As someone staring 40 in the face lemme tell you a thing.

You are going to be horrified and embarrassed at some point by the shit you are doing now.

And you are going to wish with all your might you’d done more of it.  

You’re gonna wish you had more selfies, more photos, more videos being dumb with your friends.  You’re going to wish you’d had your hair even higher or your shoes even sparklier.  

Go.  Document the shit out of your ridiculous life.  Fuck trends but if you wanna be trendy, go all in.  Fuck in-groups and subcultures but if one sings to you, do it all.  Be exactly as cool or punk rock or goth or fandom or country or hardcore or hip hop or whatever, and don’t let anyone tell you differently.

Just don’t hurt people.  That’s the only thing you’ll ever genuinely live to regret.

Tags: life advice

April 28 2017


April 16 2017

I also think that the DSM purposely sets up empathic people for getting diagnosed with depression, anxiety disorders, and PTSD early on so that no one will examine the larger system of undiagnosed narcissistic psychopaths who are traumatizing everyone else from positions of authority (I call it the "Narcissistic World Order").
Dr. Don Depresso's Disorderly Merch Counter   
Reposted bycuda cuda

March 20 2017


We need an anti-oppressive analysis of depression | murky green waters

After my last blog post was published, someone pointed out that depression is not usually included in the popular definition of “neurodivergence”. The term is often used by people with autism to explain the fact that they are not sick or in need of a cure – that their brains simply work differently. It is less frequently used to describe people with depression.

Most of the arguments for neurodivergence focus on the “advantages” of certain conditions. For example, this article points out that people with Asperger’s tend to have an exceptionally good eye for detail, and that Beethoven, often considered the best classical composer of all time, was severely depressed, and that his depression may have contributed to his creative genius.

But to argue that depression has upsides is dangerous. Autistic people who argue for neurodivergence do so because they want others to know that they are happy with who they are and that they don’t need to be cured. Their brains work differently, not worse or better than everyone else. Most people who live with—or have lived with—depression don’t argue that they are happy with that state of being. They’d more likely say they would like a cure (medical or otherwise) because depression is actually a horrible thing, and there is no upside for most.

The point of speaking about neurodiversity is not about the “advantages” that any condition might have. It has everything to do with where the problem is located.

People with autism argue that the problem with autism isn’t within themselves. The problem is with society’s expectations of how they behave, how they learn, and people’s attitudes towards them. If we, as a society, understood how to raise, teach and interact with autistic people, we wouldn’t have a problem. Similarly, people who use wheelchairs increasingly argue that the problem isn’t their bodies, the problem is the number of places that don’t have proper ramps and elevators, and (again) the attitudes of those who don’t take accessibility seriously. The solution to these issues isn’t to change autistic people or people in wheelchairs – the solution is to change how we think about them and how we collectively treat them.

What is depression, exactly? Even in progressive circles, we tend to treat depression as any other illness – as something the individual needs to fix. Whether by taking antidepressants, getting more exercise, or seeing a therapist, depression is treated as an illness that needs to be cured individual by individual.

Instead, what if we understood depression to be a reaction that people have to the way that they are treated? Depression isn’t a random illness. If it was, depression would affect everyone equally. Instead, depression is a problem disproportionately felt by the oppressed. Women are more likely to be depressed than men. Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual youth are far more likely to try to kill themselves than straight youth.  Trans people and Indigenous people also face extremely high rates of depression and suicide. It’s not a coincidence that these are groups that have survived historical oppression and continue to be marginalized and dominated.

My own depression was not random either: my first major depression was when I was a young teenager and I was dealing with a cognitive condition that will affect me for the rest of my life. The problem was not the cognitive condition, the problem was navigating the gap between my abilities, and people’s expectations of me—socially and academically. My second major depression was when I was unemployed for several months during one of the periods of the highest youth unemployment in Canadian history, and I was made to feel that that not being able to pay my rent was my own fault. Reading online about how depression is caused by not getting enough exercise and eating the wrong foods was useless for me, and served only to make me feel even more like the problem was my fault.

Depression is how our brains react to being put into situations we should never have had to face in the first place: ableism, classism, homophobia, transphobia, colonialism: these are all causes of depression. So why is depression a part of neurodivergence? There are two reasons: one, because the problem isn’t the person. And two, because it impacts how our brains work and how we handle certain situations, and those things deserve to be accommodated like any disability.

We need to stop treating depression as an individual problem, and treat it as a collective one.  When we assume depression is an individual problem, it makes it easy to scapegoat people and blame them for the injustices that they face. Individualizing depression makes it easier to ignore what a huge problem transphobia, racism, and other injustices actually are. 

Anti-depressants, therapists, exercise, and whatever other cures people come up with, can help with the symptoms of depression, but they can’t solve the systemic causes. When we defeat sexism, homophobia, transphobia, colonialism, capitalism and other systems of oppression, we will see big changes in people’s mental health, too.

(via grompfus)

March 01 2017


To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This

There is this saying that when you look in each other eyes either you fall in love or you hate the other person. As far as in my experience I can say: It's about getting into a meditative state that allows you to open up to universal love. But this intimate experience is often misinterpretd as love for the other person – because our contitioned brain puts intimacy into partnership-boxes. You can also do this kind of meditation in front of a mirror and you will have similar experiences if you bring some curiousity with you. Check which eye is more friendly to look into. Have … well :) fun!

Reposted fromgingerglue gingerglue

February 17 2017

It doesn’t happen like that. You don’t just wake up one day and find that everything has worked itself out. You must get out of bed, morning after morning, and make a conscious effort to control the circumstances of that given day. You must learn to handle your issues with grace because you respect what they are attempting to teach you. You must drown your insecurities slowly, one self-realization at a time. You must allow yourself to feel the fear bubbling just beneath your skin but you must never allow it the satisfaction of crippling you; grit your teeth and march on. You see, they never tell you how hard these things will be. This fight to reclaim yourself is not easy or straightforward but, my god, is it necessary. 
Tags: life advice

February 14 2017


July 09 2015

Eat lots of vegetables and it’s unlikely the rest of your diet is going to kill you sooner than you would have croaked anyway. – Michael Lipsey
Reposted bymynniamushunerdanelnerdanel

June 28 2015

You cannot save anyone. You can be present with them, offer your groundedness, your sanity, your peace. You can even share your path with them, offer your perspective. But you cannot take away their pain. You cannot walk their path for them. You cannot give answers that are right for them, or even answers they can digest right now. They will have to find their own answers…
— Jeff Foster (via Transcend)
Reposted frommr-absentia mr-absentia viaRekrut-K Rekrut-K

June 25 2015


23 Emotions people feel, but can’t explain

from (via lovedbythesavior):

  1. Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.
  2. Opia: The ambiguous intensity of Looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.
  3. Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.
  4. Énouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.
  5. Vellichor: The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.
  6. Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.
  7. Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.
  8. Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.
  9. Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.
  10. Chrysalism: The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.
  11. Vemödalen: The frustration of photographic something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist.
  12. Anecdoche: A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening
  13. Ellipsism: A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out.
  14. Kuebiko: A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence.
  15. Lachesism: The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.
  16. Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.
  17. Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.
  18. Rückkehrunruhe: The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.
  19. Nodus Tollens: The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.
  20. Onism: The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.
  21. Liberosis: The desire to care less about things.
  22. Altschmerz: Weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.
  23. Occhiolism: The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.
Reposted frommr-absentia mr-absentia viagingerglue gingerglue

June 23 2015

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just do ur thing
Tags: life advice
Reposted fromcaraseen caraseen viaSirenensang Sirenensang

June 16 2015

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Tags: life advice

June 14 2015


here’s the deal with self care, for me:

pleasure, in the fun late-capitalism hellhole of present-day america, is treated like a luxury.  it’s expensive.  it’s frivolous.  it’s guilty.  if we want to eat ice cream out of the carton and be socially acceptable at the same time, we’d better have earned that ice cream.  maybe by like running a marathon or getting dumped by an asshole.  if we’re going to duck into the corner store and buy fresh flowers, it’s because we’ve had a hard week, not because flowers are nice.  we can take a day off work, but only if we’re sick.  we have to suffer before we’re allowed extra kindness.

in this equation pleasure is optional (irresponsible, even), except when it’s a balm for suffering.

however!  we need pleasure to live.  a life without nice feelings in it is like a diet with no vitamins in it.  it’ll make you sick and eventually it’ll kill you.  we know this because people with depression stop feeling pleasure, and they often kill themselves.  left untreated, depression is a fatal disease.

pleasure is not optional.  pleasure is not a luxury.  without it, we die.  that is literally the opposite of a luxury.

because pleasure is treated like a luxury, and priced accordingly, it is fucking hard to get.  it’s hard to take time to relax and see loved ones when corporations aren’t required to offer paid vacation.  it’s hard to buy that special face scrub or art print or pretty yarn when it costs $35 and student loans are breathing down your neck.  so pleasure gets saved up for when things are really bad.  pleasure gets budgeted.  pleasure, once again, becomes something we have to earn by abstaining and hurting and gritting our teeth.

do this to people long enough and pleasure becomes potently associated with guilt.  this thing we need desperately to stay alive is suddenly something we can’t seek out without looking over our shoulder and wondering if we’re allowed to have it.

that’s why it’s so important that we talk about self care, and tell ourselves and each other that it is okay to do things that feel good.  it is necessary to do things that feel good.  we have to uncouple suffering and pleasure, because the idea that we have to earn feeling good by first feeling bad is monstrous and wrong.

take care of yourselves, darlings.  don’t feel bad about it.

Reposted fromlordminx lordminx viamynnia mynnia

June 11 2015




Sometimes I really don’t feel like existing like not in a suicidal way but I just wish there was a way of pausing life so that I could sleep for a few weeks and figure some stuff out and then not have to feel guilty for missing loads of stuff because really no time had passed at all


Reposted fromhelpmeimhungry helpmeimhungry viavoyd voyd

June 07 2015

Your soul has fallen to bits and pieces. Good. Rearrange them to suit yourself.   
— Hermann Hesse, Steppenwolf v
Reposted byRekrut-K Rekrut-K

June 06 2015

Having a low opinion of yourself is not modesty. It’s self-destruction.

(via heteronom)

more people need to hear this than there should be

(via radophobia)

Reposted fromcat-in-the-wild cat-in-the-wild viaRekrut-K Rekrut-K

June 02 2015


Texting Hack for Borderlines


I totally discovered this on accident but it helps A LOT to prevent me from splitting and misinterpreting people via text, which is always a big issue for me.

Most of us will read a neutral (or even happy) text and assume that the person who sent it is upset, angry, disinterested, whatever and find that we ourselves get defensive, hostile, or sad, which just leads to miscommunication and a possible fight where the person we are texting is left going “what did I do wrong?”

Well recently I put my lovely partner’s contact name as a smiley face :) and I kinda noticed that I was reading every text in a more positive tone, ones I would usually read negatively, because the smiley (attached to the preview of the messages) balanced it out. I figure that may help anyone else that interprets things negatively and gets upset because of it!

Reposted frommanxx manxx viamynnia mynnia
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